Go with the flow

go with the flowLately I have been feeling like I am hitting the wall and can’t get through it. I have tried my best and yet I’m hitting this wall. God led me on this path, so how come I can’t keep walking? What’s wrong with me? So I kept trying and pushing and trying to press through and only getting more tired and frustrated but the wall was still there. Sometimes as humans we are like that. God leads us unto the path and we in our mind think it’s for us forever. But trust me, it’s not.

So am I saying that God who called you unto one path has changed His mind when He leads you unto another path? No, that is not what I mean. God doesn’t change His mind randomly. His is faithful and trustworthy, but His ways are not our ways. We as humans like to make everything firm and stable, but that’s not God’s nature. He wants us to walk with Him and follow Him, not assuming anything, but going as He leads and trusting Him.

Back to my own life. Couple years ago I started blogging in Finnish first. After one year God spoke clearly that it was time to switch from Finnish to English. In my mind I felt I had arrived. What I mean by that? I though that was the destiny of my blog. Now I would only write in English and would only grow in that. Hmmm…. it would had been my way. But not God’s.

So I was hitting this wall with my writing. I didn’t feel there was any flow in my writing and it was work rather than joy to do. Finally after me hitting this wall awhile God was able to speak to me. Why? Because I have learned to turn to Him when something doesn’t work. I’m not trying by myself too long anymore. I used to do that. If God spoke about one thing and later on the path I felt things didn’t go well, I kept pressing and pressing. I was firm it was my fault that things didn’t go well or didn’t flow, but I tried my best to fix things and to get them flow again.

So what did God say then? He said it was time to start writing in Finnish. What?? My first question was “What did I do wrong? Did I fail and now I am back to square one? Why?” I am grateful that I have learned to know God’s grace. Even I had those thoughts I wasn’t under quilt or condemnation. I was simply asking and God started to reveal Himself again.

When we are in Christ there is flow in Him. When I am walking with Him in this life, I’m moving as He is moving. If I try to keep walking where He is not going, I will hit this wall and there is no flow. I by myself and by my own effort will try to get things flowing and try to get through this wall. But it’s impossible for without Christ I can do nothing. I heard these words “Go with the flow in Me”. When I received His word for me and I accepted this change He is doing in my life, in that moment I got my joy back and my passion back. We have these own hopes and wishes and dreams about our lives and calls in Christ, but sometimes we just can’t figure the path out. We think we can. We think we know the whole picture and we are so smart that we are able to do it all. But we aren’t. We are depending on Him and only Him. And I have to say I rather yield and submit to Christ and walk on His path with passion and joy, than try to follow that old path by myself even it seems more what I hoped for.

When I submitted myself and put my trust on God, He was able to show me more His love toward me and why He is leading me on this path. It’s not the same path, though in my mind it was. In my mind I was going backward  to writing in Finnish. But in God’s mind I was going forward. Do you see the difference? Although we think God is leading us back into something we did before, it’s not quite that. Sometimes there is a purpose to do things again, but not always. God’s timing is different than ours. And His timing is perfect. Before writing in Finnish was learning process for me. Now focus is different and it’s time to let Finnish people to hear the sound of Grace in Finnish.

I will occasionally write in English so the best way to know about new posts is to follow this blog. I will start the other one for the Finnish blog. I will let you know more about it later.

The best thing in this life is to go with the flow in Christ. There is Life and Joy and Peace for He is all that and more.

My passion – where did it go?

joy and passionMy background is very religious and I know the Lord is still revealing those things in me. Years I tried to prove I wasn’t religious, now I am simply admitting I have been and still am in some areas until God reveals my heart and works with that. The more time I spend with Him, the more He reveals about Himself and Grace to me.

For a while I have been seeing I lost my passion and my joy on the journey. When I spent my time with the Lord, I did ask why I lost my passion and my joy. I wanted to have a Thing and a Reason for it. Something what was outside of me. It would be so great to say enemy stole it from me. Or people around me didn’t support me or receive what I had. It would be easier to point something or someone and to blame situations or circumstances. But the Lord didn’t answer my question.

Losing my passion and joy caused me to become weary. I didn’t get the answer from the Lord. The more I was searching the more I became weary and frustrated. And the more becoming weary caused me to feel I wasn’t able and good enough to bring forth what was in me. Even I heard all about God’s grace and received it and believed it, it didn’t really restore my passion and joy. My feelings took over me and caused me to see myself as a failure and God’s grace didn’t really reach my heart, even I understood it and had knowledge about it. I thought it did, but I wouldn’t be in the place I was if it did.

Then these words of Jesus became alive for me

Matthew 11:28-30    28″Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 29 Walk with me and work with me– watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill- fitting on you. 30 Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. (The Message)

This invitation started to draw me closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m still on this journey, but I can say, “I had heard about grace, but now my eyes see Him.” And in this place I was able to hear His answer for my question. It wasn’t about others around me. It wasn’t about my life situations or circumstances. It wasn’t about my nation. It was about me. I have realized in my own life that God doesn’t really give answers to my questions before I’m able to hear them. His love toward me is so awesome that He is never out to destroy me, but to restore and build me up. He does reveal things in my heart, which are not in line with His nature and His word. But He doesn’t leave me alone there.

In this case I saw how I started to compare myself to other people around. I let them effect me. I listened those who didn’t really know me and I let them define me with their words.  I believed them more than God and more than people who supported me and were believing me. I let circumstances and life situations cause me to take my eyes off from Jesus Christ and I became negative. In my negativity I started to sow negative words and it brought fruits which weren’t pleasant.

I realized that there is no reason in my life that I can’t have passion and joy. Jesus Christ is living in me and I am living in Him. It’s no more I who live, but Christ in me. The fruit of the Spirit is joy (and so much more). Christ is the vine and I am one of branches. When I am abiding in Him, His Life will bring forth these fruits and one of them is joy. I can’t make it up. Nobody can take it away. This Life comes from the Vine, Jesus Christ, and fruits come naturally. The reason I lost my passion and my joy was that I didn’t abide in Him. I did spend my time with the Lord, but my focus was on others, on me or on my own miserable feelings, not on Him. It’s not about me, but about Him. Even when I bring my thoughts and my heart to Him, He is still the main focus. He is the source of Life.

John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

I want my passion and joy back, but even that can’t be my main focus. My focus is Jesus Christ and when I am abiding in Him, walking with Him, breathing in Him, His very Life will come forth in me and bring fruits forth in my life. Without Him I can simply do nothing, but with Him I can do everything. What a great life to live in Christ.