Move on – forgiveness is the key

don't waste your time looking back on what you've lost move on

I saw this sticker today and I knew God was talking to me. When we hit a rock bottom in our marriage and I wasn’t sure if we would ever get back together, I though it was the hardest thing in my life. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than that except death. At the moment I was preparing myself to get divorced God stepped into and spoke His word. And that word changed everything over night. I knew the only way to go was obedience. That’s simply my heart. I love God and when He speaks I will follow.

I thought surely people around me would be happy about our restoration and about my decision. Many of them were, but not everyone. That decision cost me a lot. Things which mattered the most to me suddenly were closed because of this decision. Some long lasted friendships ended because of this. My dreams and things where I had given my last 10 years and my carrier didn’t exist to me anymore. I felt the bottom of my life was suddenly disappeared. I thought I had focus, but suddenly I was wondering aimlessly. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I was happy God finally spoke into my situation, but the price felt so huge, almost impossible to pay. I couldn’t understand it. At the moment I the most needed a friend to walk with me, I didn’t have the best one anymore. The pain was unbearable but I couldn’t do anything. I knew God spoke to stay with my husband and He showed there would be a blessing in that. I had learned God will never abandon and He surely is trustworthy, but those didn’t take my pain away. The lost was huge and even though I did have some other friends, they weren’t as close as the best one.

I do realize there are perhaps other things I don’t know about that caused this situation. This is my part of the story and my focus is not put anyone down. The main thing isn’t who or what, but how did I go through it (and still am going) and what God did and is doing. :o)

It has taken for awhile to get my balance back and see that there is the future in Christ. It doesn’t help me at all if I keep looking back and grieving about what I have lost. That is gone and won’t come back. I still don’t understand, but rather than looking back I have decided to keep walking and focus at this moment, NOW. My life will continue and it’s not depending on people, but God. I would love to have everything, but as one friend said I am happy I have followed God and saved my marriage and my family. That alone is a blessing. If I keep looking back on the things I have lost, I won’t see things I have gained. By doing that I will loose this moment, my now and all good what it’s bringing now. It’s time to grieve, but then it’s time to let it go. It doesn’t mean I won’t have hard days and hard moments still. But even though I do have them I choose to keep walking.

images-40Forgiveness is a great key to let go of the past. It’s amazing thing, but it’s the progress where I have to deal my heart again and again. Every time I face something which reminds me about my past, I choose to forgive and let go of it. It’s not always easy, but it’s my choice. I know there are greater things before me because that is the promise of God. For everyone of us. It doesn’t matter what has happened in my life or in your life, that is what God speaks over us. His way is always from glory to glory. And the key is forgiveness. Just let you past go and see what God will have for you now and in the future.

I’m looking forward new things. It’s like a sunrise after long dark winter in Finland. It’s bright and brings joy and colors whit it.

kuva

Where is your Faith?

faith 2“Where is your faith?”  That is the question I hear the Lord asking me today. How easy it is to have faith in Him when all goes well and we are blessed and things go smoothly. But when something hits us, do we still trust Him and have our faith in Him?

What hit us (and mainly me) yesterday was that we were coming home from the cabin where we just spent couple days with family enjoying and resting and having great time together. On the way back home our car just totally broke and it didn’t turn on anymore. We had to call one guy to trail us home and our car straight to the car service. They said it may take a week before they have time to take it in and it may be that it’s not even worth to fix anymore.

This all hit me very much. Not so much because of the car, but because this car represented many things for me. There are times when I feel we are losing more than gaining. So knowing that all this thought process wouldn’t lead me anywhere I chose to go before the Lord and lean on Him. I know God loves me and accepts me. I know He can handle me being me and with Him I don’t have to put up facade which shows just the best of me. I know He knows me better than I do. So with my feelings I went before Him and I asked “Why?”. Did He tell me all details why this happened? Did He explain how I should grow in this? Did He give me a reason? Did He tell me how this will mature me? No. He simply asked, “Where is your faith? Do you trust Me?”

Rather than answering back “Yes” I asked, “Do I?” I’m on this journey where I have realized that I so rarely know who I really am and what’s really in my heart. I like to put up this facade which shows I get this all right. I like people seeing me quite perfect. And so often as a human I don’t like to admit my mistakes and my feelings. I’m still learning that it’s always better let God reveal my heart rather than pretend I know what’s in there.

So after my question He gently revealed that in my heart I was trusting more what I saw than what I didn’t see. He also revealed why this was so big hit for me. As I said before it wasn’t about a car as much as about everything in my life. While I was sitting and waiting this guy to come to trail us I felt enemy was laughing at me and pointing at me with saying “So you still think you will be able to travel and will be able to fulfill your call when you are facing situations like this one after another?” I know God has a call upon my life as well as He does upon your life. But so many times circumstances and situations in our lives are speaking other language than we hear God speaking. When God speaks about our destiny we often see how much reality in our life contradicts with His words and thoughts about us. Questions is “Where is your faith?” Do we believe what God says or what we see? Where do I put my trust in? The more I was listening the Lord the more I realized the only way to go is to put my faith in Him and know that He, Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of my faith. I so love this verse

Hebrew 12:1-2     1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

The more He revealed Himself, the more I realized that He is all I need. When I am putting my trust in Him and having my faith in Him, it doesn’t matter what I am or what I am facing or lacking. The truth is that He is who He says He is and He does what He says He will do. So in Him there is no lack. And in Him I will have all I need. Do I trust that? Or do I trust more my feelings which tells me all lacks in my life?

I choose to trust God. And if it takes all this to really stay in Faith then it’s worth it.  I know people say God doesn’t give us hard times. It doesn’t really matters if He does or not. Because what ever I face in my life I know He is with me and I am with Him. That is the only thing, which really matters.

This journey will continue.