Lately I have been feeling like I am hitting the wall and can’t get through it. I have tried my best and yet I’m hitting this wall. God led me on this path, so how come I can’t keep walking? What’s wrong with me? So I kept trying and pushing and trying to press through and only getting more tired and frustrated but the wall was still there. Sometimes as humans we are like that. God leads us unto the path and we in our mind think it’s for us forever. But trust me, it’s not.
So am I saying that God who called you unto one path has changed His mind when He leads you unto another path? No, that is not what I mean. God doesn’t change His mind randomly. His is faithful and trustworthy, but His ways are not our ways. We as humans like to make everything firm and stable, but that’s not God’s nature. He wants us to walk with Him and follow Him, not assuming anything, but going as He leads and trusting Him.
Back to my own life. Couple years ago I started blogging in Finnish first. After one year God spoke clearly that it was time to switch from Finnish to English. In my mind I felt I had arrived. What I mean by that? I though that was the destiny of my blog. Now I would only write in English and would only grow in that. Hmmm…. it would had been my way. But not God’s.
So I was hitting this wall with my writing. I didn’t feel there was any flow in my writing and it was work rather than joy to do. Finally after me hitting this wall awhile God was able to speak to me. Why? Because I have learned to turn to Him when something doesn’t work. I’m not trying by myself too long anymore. I used to do that. If God spoke about one thing and later on the path I felt things didn’t go well, I kept pressing and pressing. I was firm it was my fault that things didn’t go well or didn’t flow, but I tried my best to fix things and to get them flow again.
So what did God say then? He said it was time to start writing in Finnish. What?? My first question was “What did I do wrong? Did I fail and now I am back to square one? Why?” I am grateful that I have learned to know God’s grace. Even I had those thoughts I wasn’t under quilt or condemnation. I was simply asking and God started to reveal Himself again.
When we are in Christ there is flow in Him. When I am walking with Him in this life, I’m moving as He is moving. If I try to keep walking where He is not going, I will hit this wall and there is no flow. I by myself and by my own effort will try to get things flowing and try to get through this wall. But it’s impossible for without Christ I can do nothing. I heard these words “Go with the flow in Me”. When I received His word for me and I accepted this change He is doing in my life, in that moment I got my joy back and my passion back. We have these own hopes and wishes and dreams about our lives and calls in Christ, but sometimes we just can’t figure the path out. We think we can. We think we know the whole picture and we are so smart that we are able to do it all. But we aren’t. We are depending on Him and only Him. And I have to say I rather yield and submit to Christ and walk on His path with passion and joy, than try to follow that old path by myself even it seems more what I hoped for.
When I submitted myself and put my trust on God, He was able to show me more His love toward me and why He is leading me on this path. It’s not the same path, though in my mind it was. In my mind I was going backward to writing in Finnish. But in God’s mind I was going forward. Do you see the difference? Although we think God is leading us back into something we did before, it’s not quite that. Sometimes there is a purpose to do things again, but not always. God’s timing is different than ours. And His timing is perfect. Before writing in Finnish was learning process for me. Now focus is different and it’s time to let Finnish people to hear the sound of Grace in Finnish.
I will occasionally write in English so the best way to know about new posts is to follow this blog. I will start the other one for the Finnish blog. I will let you know more about it later.
The best thing in this life is to go with the flow in Christ. There is Life and Joy and Peace for He is all that and more.